Now that, it’s absolutely confirmed that you are never gonna be mine, let me write my last letter to you..
My Dear Ex,
It’s been a fabulous journey with you. You have been my hope and the reason of hopelessness too, my cherished dream and reality check too, my biggest strength and weakest point too, inshort, you are a full bag of bitter sweet lessons, I learnt very dearly..
Countless days and nights!!! As, I recall today, you have been on my thoughts, wishes and prayers, and I have had myself invested in you physically, mentally, emotionally and financially, for Countless Days and Nights!! Even though, you are not mine today, I would have the comfort of saying myself that I gave my 100%.. Rest is my attempt of acceptance of what’s destined..
Having you in my mind for 24*7 and not having you in my luck is a miserable combination.. Honestly, I can’t unlove you in this birth, for sure.. Every time, someone takes your name or I come across it, in any way, my heart would skip a beat.. It wouldn’t be easy without you and accepting it as a fact is the hardest pill to swallow..
They say you grow stronger with time, but, no one says at the cost of what.. I wish I could choose not to be strong but you in my life.. because even now if I am given a choice, I would choose you, today, tomorrow and a thousand times!!!
Can we just go back to square one, can we simply restart? May be this time, I would choose to give more than my 100%, or may be, I would stop myself from dreaming of you.. Can we please do something? Can I just get another excuse to be in the hope of getting you or can I just go back to that old self who was unversed in and about you? Can we?
Sometimes, I think is it a Boon or Bane that my fate had me encountered with you, I imagine, how life would have been without you..But now, it’s scary, even to think, that how life would be without you..
All these emotions push me into a roller coaster ride every single day, I self loathe, I wish things to be different, I deny to see the reality, I question the Universe, I fight just how I can with all these emotions and then finally surrender to it, the fact, that it’s over, now and forever..
Forever!! Funnily, this word has been very subjective to me, as I never believed in the concept of it, how there can be a forever when there is no certainty of a tomorrow!!! But with you, I had wished for a forever and see what I got - a forever rejection, concretely written by my destiny..
I know, I would see someone else Happy with you repeatedly, boasting about you, sharing life with you..Ahh, I just pray that I have the strength to go through it.
Truth to be told, I would never be able to get over you as you have been my only ONE, you are always going to have a piece of my heart..so moving on feels impossible, hence, as Alec Benjamin sings “If you are leaving Baby, Let me down slowly“
All said and done, I would be thankful whole my life, for the time we had, for the life lessons I learnt with you, for all those memories that are only mine now or I would say may be the only things which are solely mine..
I would never be the same person again after this, am happy that you had the old me which I myself won’t have again..
Till we meet again or I would say - we are destined again,
Bye, My Love!
Your forever Aspirant ❤️
P.S. Dropping a picture of yours, I only know how much I wished to be in the frame with you..
