It's not your fault, but still it's your responsibility.

It's not your fault, but still it's your responsibility..

Few days ago, I read that quote somewhere. It felt deep, so, my memory retained it. Yesterday, I experienced it, so, my senses would feel its meaning for life..

Let me tell you how -

I have a scooter, it's my favourite. I feel like I am flying, independent and the most happy person whenever I go for a ride on it. I care for it like my baby. 

Last evening, while i was returning home on my scooter, one person carelessly hit it with his bike, thanks to his Romeo style riding. I fell down on the road, got some scratches and internal muscle aches and pains. People came forward, lifted me up and helped me with my scooter. For me the worse part was when I saw my baby damaged - my scooter had taken all the hit, and it was badly disfigured.

Looking at my scooter, I lost all my patience and calm. I confronted the bike rider who did all this and asked him to explain it all. I was looking for him to be apologetic, admit his mistake and help me with repairing my scooter. 

It's what humanity is, right? it's what we are taught - admit it, apologize for it and work on correcting it, if ever done a mistake.

But, no, to my disbelief, he didn't do any of it, rather justified his action with his lame excuses. And what next, he fled from there with his bike as if nothing had happened.

I was there, in the mid way, with my favourite scooter damaged. I had 2 choices now - 

1. To keep on complaining and questioning about 'how wrongly this unfortunate thing happened with me and my scooter because of that damn biker', 'how can he do this', 'why did he do this', 'how irresponsible, careless and apathetic he is'

or 

2. To look for the nearest repair shop to repair it.

So, the scooter is in the repair shop now and would come back home after some days, looking like new but repaired, replaced, and perhaps stronger than it was.

Going forward, it would need extra Care, frequent Maintenance and Patience, as it's Repaired now, not the same original one, after being Damaged.

I know, I would still love it the same.

It's not my Fault that my scooter got hit, but still it's my Responsibility to care and repair it. That's the only CLOSURE, ever needed..

Looking back, I am wondering that could have been done to prevent this  - 

1.Should I have been more vigilant of his signals before he hit me ?

2.Should  i have chosen another route ?

3.Should I have stayed at home and not gone out riding with the scooter ?

1 or 2 can be potentially true but definitely not 3. So, I am not sitting at home, playing this incident in my mind again and again, considering myself the victim and blaming the universe for the wrong. 

I should move on from this and go out on the road again with my scooter once it's repaired well.

Can the similar incident happen again - possibly yes. But that doesn't have the power to restrict my happiness, independence or freedom of riding my scooter. So I choose to be on the road again with my scooter, repaired yet stronger..

Image courtesy - pinterest & Quotes creator

Saying it Vs Showing it

Hey,

Ever expressed your love for someone?

Verbally, using those magic words "I Love You"? 

Yes? 

What about choosing it to show in action?

A Man stood by my side today, in the scorching heat, in a crowded queue, for long hours standing outside.. 

without a sign of irritation on his face,

without a word of complaint,

without any single tantrum,

And this is not the First time, neither will it be the last time he is ready to take up on any discomfort for my sake

He stood like a pillar in my ups and downs, even before I saw the light of this world..

It's just one of the million times he showed his Love for me, without saying it, but I could hear it loud and clear..

The lady of the home had my favourite drink ready which she served as soon as I reached home..

She spent the whole day in the kitchen to prepare additional special dishes of my liking..which when served made me forget the rough day and overwhelmed with only gratitude..

Did she expect my appreciation for this , No?

Did she take any credit for her kind thoughtfulness, No?

Did she care about her delayed lunch time, extra effort in the kitchen, No?

She just did what she thought could make me happy, as I had "not a very good day"...

 I know, she will do everything in her capacity, every time, to see me happy..

Each of her thoughts, efforts, and considerations shouted Love loudly that a deaf could hear too..

Recently I met with a minor road accident, it was all due to my fault so no complaints. I was riding my scooter and had to take a sharp turn of course owing to the beautiful comfort of our roads. I fell down and got a minor injury on my leg..

My brother who was in the back seat, rushed to take care of me, looking at my legs, checking on injury and then helping me settle.

When I asked if you suffered any scratches or something - he denied very blatantly saying his thick jeans protected him well.

I started after a while, we rode for another 2-3 hours before we could reach home. I didn't hear any single ahh from his mouth, so I also bought what he said.

Three days passed by, and when he chose to put on his fav shorts today, I saw the deep bloodied wound on his leg, which he still didn't let anyone know about at home, not even me. I saw it and figured out that it was that minor accident. 

Not only did he hide his pain, so that I don't get worried or feel guilty, but also he chose not to mention this to anyone in the family, so that no one says anything to me..

He didn't choose to taunt me or comment about the mistake, he understood and just stayed patient and empathetic with me, explaining what I could have done to avoid that sharp turn..

Best part, he trusted me again and said - let's go for another ride, he would be my pillion rider..

The display of Love could have never been grander than this..

Saying "I love you" is one thing but choosing to show Love in every way, every day, through small big actions, thoughtful considerations, trust and affection, is Everything!!!

Love in action is the purest of its all forms..

Final letter to my Ex

Now that, it’s absolutely confirmed that you are never gonna be mine, let me write my last letter to you..

My Dear Ex,

It’s been a fabulous journey with you. You have been my hope and the reason of hopelessness too, my cherished dream and reality check too, my biggest strength and weakest point too, inshort, you are a full bag of bitter sweet lessons, I learnt very dearly..

Countless days and nights!!! As, I recall today, you have been on my thoughts, wishes and prayers, and I have had myself invested in you physically, mentally, emotionally and financially, for Countless Days and Nights!! Even though, you are not mine today, I would have the comfort of saying myself that I gave my 100%.. Rest is my attempt of acceptance of what’s destined..

Having you in my mind for 24*7 and not having you in my luck is a miserable combination.. Honestly, I can’t unlove you in this birth, for sure.. Every time, someone takes your name or I come across it, in any way, my heart would skip a beat.. It wouldn’t be easy without you and  accepting it as a fact is the hardest pill to swallow..

They say you grow stronger with time, but, no one says at the cost of what.. I wish I could choose not to be strong but you in my life.. because even now if I am given a choice, I would choose you, today, tomorrow and a thousand times!!!

Can we just go back to square one, can we simply restart? May be this time, I would choose to give more than my 100%, or may be, I would stop myself from dreaming of you.. Can we please do something? Can I just get another excuse to be in the hope of getting you or can I just go back to that old self who was unversed in and about you? Can we?

Sometimes, I think is it a Boon or Bane that my fate had me encountered with you, I imagine, how life would have been without you..But now, it’s scary, even to think, that how life would be without you.. 

All these emotions push me into a roller coaster ride every single day, I self loathe, I wish things to be different, I deny to see the reality, I question the Universe, I fight just how I can with all these emotions and then finally surrender to it, the fact, that it’s over, now and forever..

Forever!! Funnily, this word has been very subjective to me, as I never believed in the concept of it, how there can be a forever when there is no certainty of a tomorrow!!! But with you, I had wished for a forever and see what I got - a forever rejection, concretely written by my destiny..

I know, I would see someone else Happy with you repeatedly, boasting about you, sharing life with you..Ahh, I just pray that I have the strength to go through it.

Truth to be told, I would never be able to get over you as you have been my only ONE, you are always going to have a piece of my heart..so moving on feels impossible, hence, as Alec Benjamin sings “If you are leaving Baby, Let me down slowly“ 

All said and done, I would be thankful whole my life, for the time we had, for the life lessons I learnt with you, for all those memories that are only mine now or I would say may be the only things which are solely mine.. 

I would never be the same person again after this, am happy that you had the old me which I myself won’t have again..

Till we meet again or I would say - we are destined again,

Bye, My Love! 

Your forever Aspirant ❤️

P.S. Dropping a picture of yours, I only know how much I wished to be in the frame with you..

These moments matter..

To all the people out here, who are no more teenagers like me, I have a question :

  "Have you ever experienced that something/someone which/who used to excite you in any sense, doesn't do so now ?"

If Yes,
     Please scroll till the end.
Else,
     Read my question again and re-think on it.

Just a day or two ago, I came across one of the recommended videos on YouTube that was on "StandUp Comedy for Kids.."
(Yeah I do watch stand up comedy a lot these days).
Guess what, the kings of standup comedy found it really hard to make those kids burst into laughter. Those kings who not only have millions of views or fans but also are a daily dose of laughter times for many of us. They just found it tough WHEN they applied logic and humour mixed with their effort. Surprisingly the kids were just laughing with the senseless initials of the jokes, not the story nor the logic.

This reminded me that kids are simple and it needs only simple things to make them happy. And believe me, we as grown up adults have almost forgotten what "Simple" things feel like in our life anymore..these Simple things don't excite us anymore.

As a kid, just one single photo click with those words "Smile Please" used to be exhilarating. And now loads of selfies are filtered out to find the best one, to post and gain some reactions, approvals from others and then the quotient of happiness is fulfilled only on positive comments.
How strange and complicated a simple process has grown into.. hasn't it..???

But who made this strange thing happen? What did change?
- Answer: We grew up to be a complex beings.

Then, that is How ?
- Answer : Just moment by moment..day by day..year by year..and it continues, everyday, every moment..!!!

Did you realise the crux of it now? Yes, I am asking you.
Did you notice that this moment when you are reading this you are receiving my thoughts and analysing with yours and feed into your brain as what you conclude, which can be an agreement or disagreement.
But yes, this minutes of reading is also that Moment..

Thus, each second we enter people's lives thru Social Media, Books, Interactions and others and we feed ourselves what we interpret as right among all these.
And gradually we attract what we find relevant to our prejudice and make our belief stronger.
For example - I love Poems, write ups, stories etc and thus I have subscribed to sources where these are abundant. I read and see other people's thoughts expressed in words. Sometimes I judge, sometimes I just agree and sometimes I learn from it.
And those were the Moments.

"We are social animals and products of our environment."
   This is a statement that is popular and has been heard many a times.
But a deep thought on it can change the life whole together. Yes, please think it deeply what environment and society you find yourself in.

This point of discussion is here that -
Being Judgemental, with all perceptions that we have fed ourselves, never defines us just and right.  As everyone has their own story and they are the S/Heros in them. And S/Heros are never wrong, we have been taught this from very young age thru stories, movies and advices.

So next time when you come across your this Moment, make sure you have your sensible presence in it. These are the building blocks that eventually reflect You.

Thus, you stand responsible for ur Moments..for yourself..

These Moments matter..
You Matter..

Temporary Chapter

Almost every one has a story to tell, where they were a temporary Chapter in someone's book, never meant to return to or re-read. 

A Temporary Chapter can be easily forgotten as that may not contain a life changing sequence of events, however with its short while presence, the momentarily learning, experience, memories it gives, that stays with us, for a really long time, not to be missed daily, but someday somewhere like a Deja Vu, like the smell of a known fragrance.

We are thankful for the constants in our life, parents, siblings, friends, companions, however we owe some gratitude to all the temporary characters too. 

Remember a bus or train journey being memorable because of a certain person! You might not have met that person again, but the journey you had together became memorable for both of you, and you became temporary chapters in each other's lives.

Remember that kind hearted security guard outside your office who used to greet a warm good morning every working day morning! S/he helped always start the day with a smile.

Life gives us countless encounters. Believers of Karma like to consider them as past connections. Some we count as significant and some insignificantly significant. Looking back, all these years couldn't have been beautiful without these temporary chapters in our lives. Some taught us how to appreciate life, some taught us to find happiness in tiny moments, some taught us to love selflessly, some taught us how it feels to be kind, to be a human being.

Therefore, when you feel you are one temporary chapter in someone's life, be happy acknowledging that fact, if someone is your temporary chapter, appreciate their presence, as these temporary chapters are the little important pieces that shape us without our knowledge throughout our life, which itself is temporary..

- Sunayana